1. Attend the Jazz Age Lawn Party.
This soiree is held bi-annually on Governors Island in New York. People dress to the nines in '20s garb, eat from wicker picnic baskets on blankets, and dance the afternoon away to a live orchestra. Just looking at pictures creates an instant smile; it looks like so much fun! Plus, I've always wanted to live in the 1920s, and this is the perfect opportunity for some pretending. Wear red lipstick at 2:00 pm, dress like a flapper girl, and eat pie all day? Dance the Charleston with a dashing fella in suspenders, twirl a vintage umbrella, and bask in your own fanciness? What's not to love here, people?
polka-dots, hats, and pearls - just some of my favorite things
get it, y'all
this is a dancefloor i really get down on
2. Ride a train country to country in Europe.
Alright, alright. This might be super cliche, but let's look past that for a minute. Riding in a train is good for the soul. It's a time for conversation and self-entertainment. It's so romantic and old-school. It makes you feel like you're traveling in a different time, and you're peeping scenery that you definitely wouldn't get to see on a plane. You often travel through the country, so there's greenery stretched farther than you can see. And you can basically ride a train anywhere in Europe! All of the countries are connected. Look at this craziness!
3. Be a thespian.
I'm desperate here. I saw Midnight in Paris with Sylvia last week, and it sparked my desire to try theater! If you remove yourself from the plot of movies, TV shows, and plays, you can see a vibrancy in the actor's movements and words. I have a new-found appreciation for the way they glide so effortlessly and deliver lines so crispy. I want to do that! And I really love costumes! If anyone has an acting gig for me (I'll even take a low-budget Education Connection commercial), my resume is quite impressive: I played Rosa Parks in the 6th grade play. Boom!
i really hope to be NPH in another life
4. Climb the Inca Trail to see the sunrise at Machu Picchu.
I know I just told you how awesome train rides can be, but I really, really love hiking way more. So if I ever get the chance to see Machu Picchu, hell no, I ain't takin' no train. Save the sales pitch, PeruRail, 'cause I'm trekkin' this shit. It's a 4-day excursion, covers about 25 miles, and altitudes reach up to 14,500 ft (which makes hiking 3x harder). Oh, and you can't drink the water. And there's probably some wild pigs and dogs and insects that will eat you alive. But wouldn't it be worth it for this? Holy crap.
It's likely that I'll get a lot of side-eye for this one, but I don't care. I want an Asian baby. You can buy anything in Tokyo, but apparently their offspring are not for sale. What a let-down! They're the cutest babies you'll ever see (no offense to your own baby, but it's true). Each one I've met has been so obedient and eats noodles in such an endearing way! And it's likely they'll develop a great fashion sense as they mature. Unfortunately, I have had unsuccessful dating experiences with Asian men (why don't y'all like me?), so my only option is to adopt. Just tell me where to sign.
baby so cute that kanye tweeted about her. this could be mine one day.