I was going through my Twitter feed today and stumbled upon an update that a girlfriend of mine re-tweeted:
"Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don’t mean it. Women socialize by complimenting each other, and they don’t mean it either."
Call me dramatic for getting so riled up over a tweet - blanket statements like these are all over the internet - but this little generalization really irked me. I hate how women are portrayed as being catty, jealous, and passive-aggressive towards each other. There's always some ulterior motive in the way she shook your hand and smiled, or "condescendingly" helped you with your chemistry lab. I'm not saying that mean girls are a myth. What I am saying is that there aren't as many as you think.
When I was younger, I was scared to have close relationships with other girls. I've always had female friends but, with the exception of a few, I kept them all at a distance. I was so guarded and questioned every nice thing they said or did... But then I met some really awesome, smart, confident, happy girls. Some of them write on this blog with me. And my way of thinking switched. The girls I spend time with now are amazing in their respective ways, but the common denominator is that they're all secure in themselves. When we encourage and compliment each other, there is trust. And I think that's the key: in order to be secure with others, you need to be secure with yourself.
Of course, I have my days: a couple of weeks ago, I was running errands and this chick had a bad staring problem. I was getting defensive - I can't believe she is muggin' so blatantly, and something bad is about to go down in this Target parking lot! Before I walked past her, she told me she loved my dress. I was totally caught off-guard. I was feelin' her good vibes. My scowl turned into a smile, I said "thank you", and walked away with my faith in sisterhood restored.
Calm down, ladies. When someone says or does something nice for you, don't go gettin' all defensive, analyzing what that broad really meant. It ain't always what you think.