Ever gotten into one of those drawn out arguments with your boyfriend that left you confused and questioning their sanity? Ugh, haven't we all? It's not because he's crazy. It's not because you're crazy. It's because y'all aren't speaking each other's love language.
Everyone interprets love in different ways. Certain actions make one feel more loved than others. Do you like going anywhere with your boo, even just to the grocery store? Your love language is probably quality time. Do you feel bothered when your boyfriend doesn't greet you with a hug and a kiss? Then your love language is likely physical touch. For the judgmental and simple-minded, this may sound needy. Let's put the cynical and bitter thoughts away. If you're coming from a place of love and understanding, learning to communicate your needs and compromise is the master key to your relationship. It can prevent feelings of neglect, as well as help you make your boo feel loved and happy, which makes you happy. Everybody wins!
So what are the five love languages? And what can you do to make the other feel loved and acknowledged?
Physical Touch - Not just about sex. Hugs, holding hands, and kisses show affection, care, and excitement.
Words of Affirmation - Saying "I love you" goes a long way. Compliments about appearance or talents are good, too. Heart-to-hearts about how good your relationship is going can also make the other person feel valued.
Acts of Service - Make dinner, help out with a presentation, change a tire. Show your partner you want to take care of them and help out with responsibilities/burdens.
Quality Time - Commit to a weekly date night. Think of new ways to spend time together and make reservations! At the end of the day, make time for uninterrupted talking. It's all about listening and being present.
Receiving Gifts - When you're out of town, buy them a souvenir. Surprise them with flowers or a random gadget. Celebrate holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays. It doesn't have to be over-the-top or expensive; it's really the thought and effort that counts.
Now discover your love language! Take the quick assessment here! I encourage you to ask your partner to do the same. If you don't have a boo, you can take the Singles version and have a cocktail night with your girlfriends and talk about everyone's results!
My primary love language is quality time. When I don't spend time with the people I love - friends and family included - I feel out of sorts! Once I get that quality time, I feel refreshed and confident! What's your love language? Any dumb/funny fights that came from misunderstandings? Do you think this is a crock of self-help crap or useful information? I love talking about relationships! I'd love to hear!